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There are many things that can make a man lose control of his bowels; undercooked food, bacteria, amoebas, drinking cheap alcohol, etc. All of these things are readily available in Cameroon. In every market the food sitting out acts as landing pads for flies. Luke warm food for dinner is quite common. Bacteria are in all the water and must be at least filtered, if not boiled as well. So if you find yourself with diarrhea it could be any number of things. It can be impossible to trace the source. Thus one night after eating luke warm food and drinking a few beers and some palm wine, I found myself in a predicament.

First lets discuss palm wine. Palm wine is made by felling palm trees and tapping them to harvest the liquid inside. This liquid is palm wine and it begins fermenting the second it is tapped. It is put in containers that allow air flow so as to prevent gas buildup. However for this same reason it allows insects in who are attracted to the sweet smell of the palm wine. Over time as it ferments it becomes stronger and less sweet. They call it matango or the white stuff in anglophone regions. It tastes like fizzy, sweet, and sour white stuff. I often found bugs floating a glass or liter and the locals merely said to pick it out. Its normal.

One night, which seemed to be a regular night, I jumped out of bed in a terror. I knew I was about to immediately evacuate my bowels and had but seconds to spare. I waddled around my room, groping along the wall in the pitch black darkness of a village without electricity. After ten agonizing seconds I could do nothing more. I took step from the wall, dropped my boxers, and shit on the floor.

I wiped it all up into a little black plastic bag, tied the bag shut, and dropped it out my window. I bleached the floor and went back to bed. The next morning I went and claimed my bag, then tossed it in the trash pile to be burned later. This is something that is not uncommon for volunteers in Africa. Well, I cannot say my specific case is common, but rather problems with bowels and crapping in the bushes is not abnormal. Some might say my case was a rather absurd extreme.